An Imperfect Soldier

, say  If you want me to say I’m broken.
    I am.
If it sounds betters to say I’m imperfect
    I can say that, too.
There seem to be at least as many fails as victories
     In that 360 degree evaluation that circulates in my head.
And parenting, in this stage of life,
      Feels like a perpetual fail with only glimmers of grace.
 
But let me interject something here.
    For the sake of sanity and for God’s glory
I will not celebrate or major on the negatives.
   Yes, I can “glory in my weakness.”
It is necessary and right to honestly acknowledge
    That this man, Richard Schwartz, has major limitations.
But courage must be seized, faith laid hold of
    And up I rise to walk and then run to the battle.
 
What exactly is this battle?
    Who am I fighting, and why?
Am I alone?
Is there a team with me?
     What is the end game?  Will we win?
Do skirmishes matter,
Or is the final battle the only thing at stake?
And why, of all places, is the battle happening here?
 
The battle belongs to the Lord.
I am fighting because I am a soldier in the Lord’s Army.
And there is a war against the devil.
The things I fight against are earthly, sensual, demonic.
      My heart and my flesh cry out to the living God
And the grace of Christ crucifies my flesh.
I beat my body and bring it under subjection
     So I can be a fit solder in the Lord’s Army.
 
Oh, and you asked if you are alone?
        You are never alone.
As God is my witness, you are never alone.
There is a cloud of witnesses cheering you on.
Friends, family, and the church of Jesus is with you.
       No, my friend, you are not alone.
 
You asked about the end game?
There is no end without going through the middle.
      The journey defines the end game.
      A thousand dawns illuminate what will be
      And sometimes the Final Battle
       Is as simple as breathing a prayer of surrender
Before the death rattle rises
And the Glorious Conqueror carries you home.
 
Your eternal reward,
    The home given by the Glorious Conqueror,
Is a prize worth going through
Those thousand glowing dawns
And the dull days of just doing the next right thing
     Not everything that hurts is bad.
     Pain brings purposes.
     Suffering clarifies destiny.
 
In this introspective look at the why of battle,
I hope you remember that it is worth it.
Apart from Christ, you can do nothing.
With God, all things are possible.
Be silent before me, says your Father. 
You, my child, are mine.
And this Battle is mine. 
     You are never alone.